Jared Diamond
Jared Diamond 'is the central character, main antagonist and penultimate boss in Call of Diamond. A scientist turned historian turned ruthless mercenary, he is the U.S. Army's secret weapon and will stop at nothing to advance his beloved country. Being the titular character, Diamond plays a key role in ''Call of Diamond, calling upon the main character at the beginning of the game and sending him on a mission to destroy targets selected by Diamond. Diamond had his roots in the philosophical world, known as an author who liked to express his views on scientifical and historical matters. His most successful work was Guns, Germs and Steel, a book which was later adapted into a TV show. The work detailed his theory on why third-world countries failed, thanks to a comment made to him by a man named Yali. However, as time passed, Yali's question and the'' Guns Germs and Steel thing took a toll on his mental health and he later became a patriotic nationalist instead of a Papua New Guinea sympathizer. Diamond is now a significant army general and the all-time deadliest figure in the U.S. Army, with 4000+ kills while fighting overseas. On the contrary, Diamond has never been injured in war. In ''Call of Diamond, Diamond is the most powerful character (excluding the Giga Nigga), wields the most powerful acquirable weapon (the Germ & Steel Gun) and serves as the game's main antagonist and the penultimate boss. History The following takes place before the events of Call of Diamond, but the story is here is told throughout the game via easter eggs and books. Early beginnings (Sane Era, 1937 - 1997) Born September 10, 1937, Jared Diamond was a very smart child. He had no friends but succeeded in holding relationships with pretty women, as well as getting good grades. Former teachers spoke of him as "a little angel". Diamond later became a successful author and modern philosopher. He examined popular questions regarding science and history. Particularly, he loved thinking and sharing his thoughts about the collapse and failure of socieities, specifically third-world countries. Supposedly, the root cause of this fascination with the failure of societies came to him in the form of a man named Yali. Following a "shoot the shit" session at an airport in Papua New Guinea, Yali famously asked Diamond: "Why you white niggas have so much cargo, and we New Guineans have so little?" The question impacted Diamond so much that studying the failure of places like Papua New Guinea became his life's work. And with the legendary release of his book Guns, Germs and Steel in 1997, Yali's question was solved. Diamond drew it down to the idea of geographic luck - his theory states that countries like Papua New Guinea failed because their land wasn't suitable for farming. He felt really sorry for the New Guineans and their geographic unluckiness, so he moved to Papua New Guinea and shared an apartment with his old nigga Yali. Diamond's Decline (Losing Sanity Era, 1997 - 2006) For many years, all was fine and dandy for Diamond and his roommate Yali. That is, until Yali started acting a little weird. Diamond was becoming less of a human in Yali's eyes. One day Yali came home and raped Diamond in the ass for literally 8 fucking hours, no break. He did not even stop for water. Yali's 12 inch shitcock was starting to melt inside Diamond's anus so Yali stopped. After that day Diamond developed PTSD and could hardly cope with seeing Yali's face any longer. Yali was his abuser. Yali would come home and yell "hey you stupid ass cracka! kiss my boot!" ''even if Diamond was not home. Diamond was losing it. He started to wonder what he was even doing with his life. His love and sympathy for Papua New Guinea was vanishing. Why did he care so much about the New Guineans, anyways? He wrote in his journal on September 10, 2006: ''Nigga what the fuck am i here for? I dedicate my fuckin life to these New Guinean niggas and all i get in return is a lot of sexual abuse. I mean nigga what the FUCK??? FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Diamond began to lose all hope in Papua New Guinea. He developed an alcohol addiction to help him cope with his depression and PTSD. He would be drunk nearly 24/7. Yali took advantage of this and used Diamond as a fuckdoll, raping Diamond when he was too drunk to think. Diamond's life was at an all-time low. He hated Yali not only because he was Diamond's abuser, but because the Question was what sent Diamond's life into a downward spiral. He made a vow to himself to turn his life around by the end of 2006 and get the fuck out of this Papua New Guinea shithole. One night, on December 2 of the same year, Diamond quietly packed his bags while Yali was sleeping and took a one-way flight to the United States. Descent Absolution (Insane Era, 2006 - Present) Diamond arrived in Washington, D.C. on December 3, 2006. It was a stormy night. Diamond instantly felt a sense of refreshment and happiness as he realized he was millions of miles away from his abuser, Yali. Diamond's first stop was the gym. He would practically live there for several years. Inevitably he slowly turned into a shredded monster of a man. Diamond was changing quickly. His love for the New Guineans and other black people turned into extreme hatred. He turned into an ultra-conservative patriotic white nationalist. He wanted to purge everyone and everything he thought was bad in the world, but didn't feel it was possible until the events of Call of Diamond. In 2010, he took up boxing and accidentally killed his first opponent with a single punch to the face. But he didn't get in trouble for this! Instead he caught the attention of President Barack the Rhombus, who decided that Diamond could be the U.S. Army's alternative to nuclear weaponry. And so he was. Today, Diamond serves as the '''General of the Army and is considered the worst nightmare for any threat to the United States. He is ruthless, cunning and nearly unbeatable. In Call of Diamond Meet the Diamond, Pt. 1 Main article: MEET THE DIAMOND Pt. 1 Diamond is, at first, a mysterious character in Call of Diamond. He has developed a friendship with Colonel Pitt. After Initiation, the player is introduced to Diamond. Pitt has been called upon by Diamond. The Call of Diamond occurs during MEET THE DIAMOND Pt. 1. Diamond gives Pitt a long list of targets and gives him the special task of destroying them all. Diamond's objective is to finally take revenge against the New Guineans who betrayed him, as well as kill other random black people. Diamond believes he will save the world by doing this. Diamond will occasionally assist Pitt in assassinating targets, most notably in The New Guinean Raid. The New Guinean Raid Main article: The New Guinean Raid Meet the Diamond, Pt. 2 Main article: MEET THE DIAMOND Pt. 2 '' Diamond has turned against Pitt as a result of his friendship with Yali. After murdering Yali, Pitt finds Diamond at his fortress back in Hawaii. The '''Jared Diamond boss battle' happens here. After being defeated by Pitt, Diamond's final action is releasing the Giga Nigga, the game's final boss. During his time with the Army, Diamond revisited his scientist past a little and developed the Giga Nigga, keeping the Nigga in captivity for years.